The time finally came, when the need for comfort came to outweigh the desire for adventure.
Having lived out of a suitcase for the majority of the time since 2010, it started taking its toll and a jump into the “serious”, the daily routined life became necessary even for me.
Hardly ever knowing what I want, I did know one thing for sure in the past two years: if I don’t get to live in my own little flat soon enough, I’d lose my mind.
When re-arriving back home only two months ago, as from nowhere, I found a one-bedroom flat in central Stockholm, was registered on a university course I dropped out of five and a half years ago and easily got to keep my job where I get wo work around some amazing people.
From nowhere, I was handed my life back, exactly the way I left it.. Well sort of.
Now, two months later it has struck me what major decisions I made without any further consideration – have I made the right decisions? Not sure. Were these the necessary choices? Yes.
Having scattered your heart and life around the entire globe, you will never be fully at home again, no matter where you are, no matter where you decide to temporarily settle. There will always be something or someone missing; a part of you will always be missing.
Och det känns.
They say you cannot have it all. I am still working towards it: I want to have it all. I want to do it all, experience it all. Perhaps not maybe all at once.
Life’s too short to not maximise the limited time we get
They say we only get this one life, this one chance.
It is not the easiest decision ‘forcing’ myself to stay still and lay low, working on learning to live a “normal day to day life” for some time, but sometimes the things we don’t want to do are necessary, only so we can progress onwards in the future and do what we were meant to do, later on.
For me, this is a wee bit of a u-turn, a way to turn around, go back, re-do and do things right before heading onwards towards fulfilling my other dreams.
Sometimes we need to derail only so we can find our ways back on track, sometimes we need to take a few steps back, only so we can move forward in the end. Sometimes we need to rest, only so we can be more productive later.
Sometimes it is exactly what we don’t want to do that will lead us to what we want, in the long run.
The hardest part is letting go, not taking part. (Coldplay – The Hardest Part).