The idiomatic expression, ”everything has its time”, is quite accurate, significant and important to bear in mind.
There certainly is a time for everything.
For life events or meetings with other fellows to be successful, they need to happen at the right time.
Meeting the “right one” has no significant meaning if happening at the wrong time,
Receiving an offer to one’s dream job is irrelevant if the timing is not right,
Having dreams in general coming true, is not much of importance, if the timing isn’t suitable.
The external factors, i.e. what happens in our environment need to match our internal factors, i.e. where we are at emotionally, mindly and mentally.
For example, meeting Mrs, Mr or Ms Right is insignificant – at least for the time being – if it happens when one has decided to not get involved in a relationship, or has planned on travelling the world for 12 months.
Getting your dream job when just having made other, contradictory plans, will put you at a crossroad where you need to choose between the two, and if you have already made up your mind that hopping on a jet plane and travel for several months, that dream job won’t be very attractive to you at the time. Not if you have found something that calls your name more for the time being.
Being offered the opportunity to move in with your best friend, something you might have dreamt about for some time, will not make much of a difference if you have decided that you need to leave the country, or if all you need at the time is to live all by yourself.
Meeting that someone who makes you want to change course completely, makes no difference if you already have made up your mind to go to India to rediscover and reinvent yourself. Or simply if either one of you already is in one relationship.
I used to always believe that you can just change those outer circumstances in your life, but sometimes they have such a great impact on how you respond to them and perceive your own feelings and desires, that you might not even know you want it. As we all know, the external circumstances shape our inner beings and sometimes it is hard to set them apart. What is most important, I would argue, is to be well aware of that just because we get an opportunity, or just because we have set one course for ourselves, it does not mean by definition that we need to go through with it. Life and circumstances change and we need to be open to them, and also make sure they are in sync with our current inner states.
For example, I have through my years of travelling met a few people who have meant a lot, people who have mattered enough for me to considering staying or something as such, but for most of the time I have had plans that have been more important at the time, other things that I have needed more.
However, if any of these things happen when the timing is right, it’ll be like bliss sent from above.
From time to time it currently hits me that I really just should go back to Scotland in the fall to go through with my honour’s degree. A part of me wishes that I could. But right now my main concern and priority is to get that flat on my own, something which I was offered out of the blue, and it happened to be located in Stockholm. Then so be it. Sometimes you just need to hop on the train that arrives at the station you are currently waiting at. Sometimes you just need to go with the ride and let life take you wherever it takes you.
Life cannot be planned. Of course we should stick through with things, if we have goals that we want to achieve, of course we sometimes need to push through hard times, but sometimes life changes throughout the journey, and we need to give space for those changes to take place. Just because you decided three years ago that you ought to get that degree, or you want to travel to that country at age 23, doesn’t necessary mean that that is what you will want those three years later, when that time actually comes.
We need to allow ourselves to be more flexible with our lives.